So I’ll be 29 in a couple of weeks, 22nd December to be exact.
I’ll probably be somewhere in the high seas, with no network so I figured I’ll write about my last year before I hit the ‘dirty 30’.
I’ve learnt to live in the moment, past few years has been tough. I’ve lost so many people so close to my heart and I vividly remember being so angry at the world. Then one day someone asked me, ‘Are you ready to die today?’ Ask me this 3 years ago and I’d freak out, but today, I tell myself if the time comes then for sure God has fulfilled His purpose in my life. So I live each and every day like there is no tomorrow. I laugh even when crying is the best thing to do because sad situations pass and there is no time to live in regret. I love like there is no tomorrow, I apologize even when I’m not wrong because it sets the soul free and above all I’ve learnt to be good to all despite the evil that may surround us from time to time. Funny how everyone on the ship says I’m a ray of sunshine because I’m always happy whether tired or unwell and I tell them, in my short lived life, I’ve learnt to live my life to the fullest because we only have one life.
I’ve been a dream chaser for the better most part of my life but never in my wildest dream did I think I’d once take a lower placement than my job title to achieve this dream. My career has truly humbled me in ways I couldn’t imagine. It has taught me to never give up hope and more so it has taught me that all I have to do is believe in myself and I’ll be unstoppable. I had goals set for when I’m 30 but I’ve learnt to erase them all and do my best when little opportunities are given to me no matter how atrocious they sound. You never know who is watching. So darling, I get up in the morning and scrub and mop those walls and floors on the ship like my life depends on it even when everyone at home thinks I’m in a pretty white uniform on the bridge navigating because I know someday, I will get there, not today but some day. I will not fear the storm instead I will be the storm. God’s plans for me are much greater than my dreams.
Cultivating friendships have been my greatest lesson, I’m glad I’ve kept the same circle of friends for the longest time ever, more so I’m grateful for the ones I’ve met along the way. I’ve learnt that friendship is not about keeping up with the world, but standing bare before your friends, emotionally, financially, spiritually and not being judged for having less than the world has to offer whilst still being loved unconditionally. I am forever grateful for my friends that have become family. They keep me grounded always.
I wonder what my world would be without my family. I’d be nothing. From their prayers, emotional support, silly arguments and hearty laughter. They keep me sane on this ship. They keep me grounded on this career journey. I am who I am today because of them and even though I may not say it as often as I should; I certainly owe my success to them.
My walk in Christ has been special, I’ve learnt that what matters the most is my personal relationship with God. Understanding when my prayer is answered with a ‘no, wait or yes’. I’ve learnt to never cease praying even when it hurts. No, I’m not perfect, if anything I’m nowhere near being perfect, but I’m a child of God and created in his own image. Therefore I’ve learnt to consider it pure joy when I face tribulations because my faith has become much more stronger now than ever before.
Ten years ago I was sure I’d be married by the time I was 29, God knows how much I crave to be called ‘mummy’. I thought I’d beat myself down when this time came and I was single but God has fulfilled His purpose in my life and I’m happy that He continues to mold me to be the proverbs 31 woman and I know that someday when the right time comes, God will fulfill His Will and send me not Just a husband but a Godly man. My career has been a big challenge with such relationships but I’m reminded everyday that, God’s Will, will never take you where His grace will not protect you and so when the time is right for Him, He will make it right. Until them I shall pursue my course, solely grounding my faith in Him.
Happy 29th birthday to me!!
Top -Malia Baroque
Shoes- BEBO UK
Photography – Khateli
Location – Captain’s Terrace